When I was a kid, I daydreamed about finding a magic lamp on the beach. I lived in the extremely landlocked Idaho, which unfortunately meant that I never got to see a beach before they were all out of magic lamps. Also, daydreaming is pretty much the only activity you can do as a 5-year-old in Idaho. Unless it was winter, in which case you could throw iceballs at cars, but I digress…

For my first wish, I planned on wishing for the obligatory one million more wishes. Then, for my second wish I decided that I wanted a swimming pool full of green jell-o.

That’s right! And what kid doesn’t want to dive headfirst into dessert? Or what adult for that matter? Come on, guys. There’s nothing I’d like better than to do a cannonball into 1,000 cubic feet of jigglers, even to this day.

Well, yesterday I realized that to some degree my childhood wish has been fulfilled. Not the whole swimming pool part, but the whole regularly smearing yourself in dessert thing.

You see, my wife works at this store called Lush, where they sell all sorts of soap and beauty products made from things like leaves, hemp, mud, jasmine, coal, chocolate, and so on. Consequently, our apartment smells like rose hips and lemongrass mixed with dirt, and I am forced to shower with an assortment of items that look like clods of hardened clay.

The clincher, however, and the thing that makes me hold my tongue about all this hemp soap nonsense, is the shampoo my wife makes me use. Its main ingredient is coconut, and I’ve seriously eaten some of it and it tastes pretty decent. In fact, it looks almost exactly like German Chocolate frosting.

Now if anyone needed motivation to shower on a regular basis, it would probably be me. However, with my new frosting/shampoo, I can shower in delicious cakey heaven. And I do so at LEAST three times a week.

My 5-year-old self would be proud.

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