So I’m trapped in the airport, as usual. Anyone who knows me has heard me express my passionate hatred for flying. It started out as a casual fear of flying, but has evolved into full blown animosity. Right now my flight out of Honolulu to San Francisco is delayed (indefinitely I’m sure), and I happened to look at my ticket and realize that I am flying American Airlines once again.

Looking back at all the times I’ve ever flown, I had a startling realization:

Every time I have flown American Airlines, I have had problems. Every time.

I have never had a problem or delay with any other airline I have flown.

It’s true. Like the time I got stranded in Dallas for 24 hours last summer because they overbooked the flight. Or the time I had to wait in the airport for 10 hours because of mechanical trouble, then a rainstorm, and then a canceled flight. Or the time Joe and I got delayed in Newark for about 4 hours. Or the time I had to sleep on the lawn of Salt Lake International and the security guards came to check if I was alive. Yep. All of them were American Airlines.

When I flew to Cancun on Delta – no delays. When I flew to Long Beach and Sacramento on Jet Blue – no problems. When I flew to Honolulu the first time on Alaskan/Northwest – not a snag. When I flew to Vegas and back last month on Hawaiian – flawless. And they fed me pasta.

So, while all these other companies are going out of business, I think American Airlines should step up and file for Chapter 11, too. And then cease to exist. And recycle their planes to make soup cans. (And find nice jobs for all of their employees, too, of course).

As far as never eating pizza alone: I almost choked on the most delicious cheesy cheese pizza in the world today. If I had choked, I would have died with mozzarella coating my esophagus and no one to give me the Heimlich.

Also, it’s just plain sad to eat pizza and not have someone to share it with.

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